Her dance recital was 3 days before her baby sister was born, so these never got to see the light of someone else’s eyes. Then I told myself I will show them for her 5 year birthday post. Whoops, that never happened either. Soon she will be 5 1/2 – ack! – and such a different girl. Even now, though, household duties beckon me and I can’t sit long enough to recall and fine-tune all that I would say about my big girl.
I know I am tough on her sometimes. And I forget how young she really is. It’s not easy being the mom of a girl who, at 5, is already 73% of my height. But seriously, the wise words that fall from her lips can play tricks on my mind, so when she follows that by acting like a 4 year old – errr, 5 year old – I sometimes get confused.
Despite all that, though, I want her to know how precious she is to me, how much I want for her to have the tools to seek, earn, and know happiness, to soak in and thrive with knowledge and, above all, to be GOOD. (Ah, that word. And what is good? Well, that should have a few blog posts of its own. One day, I hope.)
The journey we are on to those paths is not without its challenges. And there are days when I would really like to throw in the towel. But at the end of every day, I look into those wondering eyes of hers and I know that I need to step up to her challenges because she is so worth it. I want so badly to fill her cup of wonder. And I also want to sleep. I love to see her smile and joy. I also want to see her have discipline.
Oh, there are so many thoughts in my head about all my dreams and fears for her: scrambled like the static of an old television set. (You know, the ones that were 2 feet cubed, from the ’80s.)
I love you, my darling Isabel!
Some old ones from June, July and August.